Dartmouth College is a member of the prestigious Ivy League and the last college in the United States to be founded before the American Revolution. While supposedly an institute of higher learning, the most famous words written by a Dartmouth graduate were "One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish," casting doubts on Dartmouth's ability to install even the simplest elements of literacy into its students.


Dartmouth was founded to teach Native Americans about Christianity, but instead ended up teaching rich kids how to drink. 


Dartmouth is located in the the frigid wilderness of Hanover, New Hampshire, where the average temperature is even lower than the average IQ of a Dartmouth student. Interestingly, a corner of Hanover seceded from the United States in the 1780's to briefly become the capital of the Vermont Republic, therefore making Dartmouth the only Ivy League school so bad people that seceded from the US to escape being in the same town as it.